Still Missing my Dad

This is my Dad who died exactly one year ago today. I can’t believe a whole year has passed since his death. It seems like yesterday. I was so happy when I found this photo recently on my SD card. It reminds me of my Dad and is exactly how I want to remember him- happy and healthy.  He does not look sick from all of the chemotherapy he had to take for his non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.  This photo was taken at The Little Write Gal’s 8th birthday party in August of 2008. 

Everyone has told me that the pain of his loss will get better over time.  I disagree, at least so far. It has been a year and the hole in my heart has not gotten smaller. Maybe what they meant was that I wouldn’t cry every day.  The tears have stopped coming on a daily basis now, but there are days when I just can’t help crying.  There is a day that doesn’t go by that I don’t think about him or wish he was here.  I still can hear his voice in my head and I hope that never changes. Maybe this next year will be less painful. I hope so.

I know my Dad wouldn’t want our family to be sad.  He would be amazed at my mother’s courage, and I know he is still proud of my sister and me.  If your Dad is still living, please give him a hug for me today.  Cherish the time you have together on this Earth.  I can’t wait for the day I can see my Dad again when I get to heaven. I LOVE YOU DADDY!   ♥

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15 Responses to “Still Missing my Dad”


  1. 1 Mom January 28, 2010 at 1:25 pm

    Christy, what a beautiful tribute to your Dad. He loved all of his family so much–family was so important to your Dad. Your Dad was so special in so many ways; he absolutely spoiled me rotten. I was so blessed to have a man who loved me unconditionally–not only was he my husband, but my best friend for 42 years. I couldn’t have asked for anything more. He was so proud of you and Ashley and the grandchildren. I believe there are windows in heaven and when something wonderful happens, God gently guides him to a window and lets him look down on us. I pray that you will always remember his voice and the affectionate way he called you “Criddy”. I pray that the memories of your Dad will remain within your heart forever. I pray that God will give you the peace that passeth all understanding. I thank God for creating your Dad and for him being a part of our lives. We were truly blessed beyond all measure. Love, Mom

  2. 3 Not So Average Mama January 28, 2010 at 2:04 pm

    Great post. I wish I could hug my dad. But here I am in Texas and they are all the way on the coast in Georgia. My dad just finished his treatments and we are waiting on the word to know if the cancer is gone.

  3. 4 Logout January 28, 2010 at 2:41 pm

    This is a wonderful testimony of the kind of person Adrian was to his wife and children. You all are very blessed to have had him for so many years. Cherish the memories. The pain does lessen but you never forget the hugs, the voice and the good times nor the bad times. Adrian went through some of those with his health but he kept that to himself lots of times. He worked when he wasn’t really able. He is in your heart to stay. God will dry up those tears but the longing for his touch remains. God bless.

  4. 5 Staci A January 28, 2010 at 8:22 pm

    Such a beautiful post to your dad.

    Sending good thoughts your way.

  5. 6 Ashley January 28, 2010 at 8:35 pm

    I love that pic!! I don’t think I’ve seen that one, but it captures him perfectly 🙂

  6. 7 Shop with Me Mama (Kim) January 28, 2010 at 11:31 pm

    Sweet picture of you Daddy! What a beautiful tribute to him, HUGS hon!

  7. 8 Brandy January 29, 2010 at 12:11 am

    First ((hugs)) It’s hard when you lose a close family member but even harder I think when it’s to something devastating like Cancer. We lost my grandma almost 2 years ago to cancer and I remember the first time I found a photo of her from before she was sick, I was so excited because this was how I wanted my son to remember her, not with her hair falling out and all the weight she gained from the chemo. I didn’t want him to remember her laying in a hospital bed, I wanted him to remember all the fun times they had.

    ((hugs)) the first year is super hard I’ve found and it doesn’t get easier you just learn how to process your feelings and deal with the pain. I still have moments where I cry or feel sad but it’s not as frequent as it was in the first year. I remember the first time that I realized I didn’t instantly remember that it was the “anniversary” of her passing until the day was almost over and I was shocked but then realized that is how SHE would want it to be. She wouldn’t want me to feel sad all the time and cry daily, she’d want me to be happy and live my life still.

    What is most important is that you grieve and process at YOUR pace and not because others are. If you need to talk/vent please feel free to email me any time ((hugs))

    -Brandy

  8. 9 Matthew January 29, 2010 at 2:13 am

    great post and i hope you and your family are doing okay.. I was broken when my dad died, but I was also so young.

    I just had a breakdown with my sister on Facebook about it. I wanted him near me *ashes* but I cant bring myself to go see him lately, it just hurts so bad. I never got that fantasy “makeup” with him. I was so close to him growing up and towards the end of his life it just wasnt like that.

    I’d love you to come comment on this : http://wordsofapoet.com/2008/06/15/happy-fathers-day-i-miss-you/

  9. 10 Jack Moore January 29, 2010 at 5:52 am

    Christy, although you and I have never met, I do feel that I know you due to my long friendship with your Mother.
    It is always a sad feeling when one loses a loved one. I think that perhaps we never totally get over it…and I feel that it is GOD’s wish that we hang on to all of those good memories and think back upon those “good times” for instant moral support.
    I am quickly approaching 69 years of age and still think of my dear Father often. I retired early in December, 1997, hoping to get to spend some extra time with my Dad who had Alzheimer’s. He passed away on January 14, 2008….did not leave me any of that hoped for “extra time.”
    I still think of my Dad often, but in a very positive way, remembering those great moments. I am thankful for the many fishing and hunting trips that we made together. I also am thankful for his “Love of God” and his great speaking ability, whether it be teaching the Sunday School lesson of making a public speech among dignitaries.
    Keep you Dad in your thoughts as often as you wish and consider doing as I now do…I put more determination forth in talking with, and visiting, my Mother as often as possible.
    Perhaps, one day we will have the opportunity to meet and discuss the fine quality of our Dad’s. I never did meet your Dad, but feel as I’ve known him for a long time..He was a good Man!
    Jack

  10. 11 Laurie January 29, 2010 at 9:34 am

    Such a wonderful post. Sending thoughts your way, and that all of your Dad’s love is always there to comfort you. *big hugs*

  11. 12 sarah-caiafa craziness January 29, 2010 at 2:45 pm

    hugs. I know how it is to loose your dad. I am almost 2 years out.

  12. 13 Beeb Ashcroft January 29, 2010 at 4:04 pm

    What a beautiful tribute and great photo. My mom passed away in 2003 so I empathize with the pain of losing a parent. Your loss is still so recent and the first year is so raw. Hang in there. I’m sending lots of hugs your way!

  13. 14 Janice January 30, 2010 at 11:57 am

    Christy, I don’t really know you, but I met you at Adrian’s funeral. My husband, Gene, was a long time friend with your Dad from work. Gene really thought a lot of Adrian. I met and talked with Adrian many times and I know Sandy and Ashley. I sympathize with all of you so much. My Mother passed away from Cancer right after I turned 27 and my Daddy passed away in 1987. So they have both been gone many years. I still have days when I miss them so badly. I just want to go and talk with Mom sometimes and tell her what I am thinking or get her advice about something and tell her that I love her one more time. I remember when she had been gone for a little over a year and I dreamed about her one night. The dream was so real. I saw her just like she was still alive and with me. I woke up and cried and cried. I just wanted to go back to sleep so I could see and hear her again. Just one more hug. I am so glad that God let me have that short time with her again. I treasure that dream. I know that they are both in Heaven and I will definately see them again. What a day that will be. So, just try to get through these hard days as best you can and keep all of your good memories close to your heart until you can see and be with Adrian again.

  14. 15 amber February 4, 2010 at 6:53 pm

    I send you so many hugs and love right now. You know my mom’s parents died 24 years ago, and 21 years ago, and she said that she still misses them so much and still breaks down once and awhile and cries. We never ever forget our parents. The good part, is that your dad will always live on, in YOU. You are part of his legacy on this world. You’re the proof that he existed and that he loved, and that is beautiful. Your dad is always with you, in your heart and in your blood. I know you will miss him no matter what, but please know that he is always with you. If you ever need to talk, please dont hesitate to email me. HUGS.


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