Missing my Dad this Father’s Day


This is my favorite photo of me and my Dad.  This Father’s Day is especially sad for me because it is my very first one without him. As you may remember, he died in January from complications from leukemia at age 66. I imagine every “first”  holiday after you lose someone is difficult, and I can only hope that it gets better over time.   I was supposed to lead the Children’s Sermon at church this Sunday, but I asked someone else to fill in for me.  I am not sure I can get up in front of the church without crying.  I know that I probably should be “moving on” but honestly his death has been extremely difficult for me to handle.  There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about him or wish that he was still with us.  I know that he is in heaven and  does not have to suffer any more but the “Daddy’s Girl” in me still wants him with me. I would give anything if he could just call me one more time on my cell phone and call me “Critty” or “Green Beans” which were the nicknames he used to call me.  The “Green Beans” nickname came from when I was a baby and used to love to eat green beans (I still do). 

I remember how my Dad cried on my wedding day, and when I told him that I was naming my daughter after his mother.  In addition to loving his grandchildren he also loved his granddogs, Ashes and Maddie.  When Ashes was 3 months old and broke his leg, my Dad rode with me all of the way to the 24 hour animal trauma hospital gently cradling the then 6 pound dog in his lap.  We both cried the whole way there and most of the way home.  That’s how my Dad was, very caring and sensitive.

If you are reading this post and your Dad is still with you, please take some time this Father’s Day and tell him how much he means to you.  Time goes by so fast and only God knows how much time we have left on this Earth.  I never thought my Dad would die while I was only in my 30s and my daughter wasn’t even out of elementary school yet.   I am sure anyone who has ever lost a loved one knows exactly how I feel. Life is too short.

Happy Father’s Day.  I love you Daddy!


16 Responses to “Missing my Dad this Father’s Day”

  1. 1 Krystyn June 18, 2009 at 5:33 pm

    What a sweet tribute. I can’t imagine how hard it is for you.

  2. 2 Laura June 18, 2009 at 10:00 pm

    I lost my dad 13 years ago, and Father’s Day never gets easier (I hate to tell you that.)

    Dropping by from MomDot Linky.

  3. 3 msakelley June 18, 2009 at 10:20 pm

    Visiting from Mom dot-

    I did write a tribute to my dear Dad who is still with me and I am blessed, so true.
    Thank you for sharing the love you and your Father have for each other. The heart never forgets.

  4. 4 Mom June 18, 2009 at 10:47 pm

    As I wrote on facebook, May the love of our precious Heavenly Father comfort you during the loss of your precious earthly Father on your first Father’s Day without him. You and Ashley were the BEST daughters ever to your Dad and he was so proud of both of you. He loved you both very much from the moment I told him I was pregnant to the day he died. He was the first one who jumped out of bed when he heard the first whimper from either of you. He never complained when he had to change a dirty diaper or wipe up spilled milk. He loved taking you to the YMCA Library, which is where you get your love for reading, he loved going on your field trips at school and often he was the only Dad on the trip. He loved taking you on vacations whether it was the beach or the mountains and especially, the miniature golf games and swimming. He was so very patient when he taught you how to drive a car even though both of you scared him out of his wits. He was so proud of both of you when you got your degrees from college and nursing school and even prouder that you both got scholarships. He loved both of his son-in-laws even though he shed tears when he gave you away. He adored his three grandchildren that you and Ashley gave him. The challenge for both of you now is to live your lives in such a way that would bring honor to his memory while at the same time let your lives move forward with no regrets. This is what he would have wanted most.

  5. 5 Louise June 18, 2009 at 11:08 pm

    Ohhhhh, how hard this must be for you.

  6. 6 Patty June 18, 2009 at 11:24 pm

    I hope that you can feel your dad’s presence this weekend.

  7. 7 Vickie June 19, 2009 at 12:28 am

    Dear Sweet Christy,

    I’ve known your parents for a long time. My mother was Mama Steen to you and Ashley. I saw the love and pride your Daddy had in you and your sister when he dropped you at Mother’s house. I remember Mother saying that Adrian is really crazy about those girls.

    I lost my Daddy in 1993 and Mother in 2002. I think of them everyday and miss them so much, but I have my memories of wonderful, loving parents.

    You will always have those precious memories, too. Oh what fun it is to share those memories with our children. I’m sure your daughter loves to hear the stories about her grandfather.

    Take care Christy!

  8. 8 Dore June 19, 2009 at 1:33 am

    I’m so sorry for your loss. Your dad sounds like an amazing man! I’ll be thinking about you.

  9. 9 Don June 19, 2009 at 3:22 am

    I know it is hard and really it does not get much easier as time passes. Just remember this, no Dad loved their family as much and really got all that love in return as Adrain did. You and your family should be very proud and try to remember the really good times you had together. We knew your Mom and Dad before you were born and they both just wanted a good family live for their children and they both got their wishes. Of course our parents have passed but, it really helps to be strong and remember the wonderful family life you had and continue to have. Sandy will need your suport and I know it will be a big help. God bless you.

  10. 10 Jack Moore June 19, 2009 at 9:08 am

    Although I personally never met your Dad, I feel as I’ve probably known him for many years from the many e-mail messages that your Mother and I have shared. I went through many months of his illness and remembered him daily in my prayers….as well as your entire family.
    I am quickly approaching 68 years young and have five children, all grown, of our own. We still do many things together as a family and I feel certain that when I leave this old world that my four daughters will probably miss me as you do your Dad. He was a wonderful man!
    I lost my Dad 10 years ago at the age of 80. He, too was a wonderful person…although he had been a victem of Alzheimer’s disease for the previous 5-6 years. I still think of him often and still continue to miss the great things in life that we shared.
    My best advice to you would be 1) Trust in God 2) Savor all of those many good memories of your Dad 3) Continue to go forward with your life and leave good memories for your family to one day be able to look back as they remember the good times that they shared with you.
    4) Finally, support your Mother and Sister as they, too, share in the loss of your Dad.

  11. 11 Whitney June 19, 2009 at 9:43 am

    This brought tears to my eyes. I still have my dad and I am a true daddy’s girl, so I can’t imagine how you feel. I’m sending positive thoughts your way.

  12. 12 Martha June 19, 2009 at 10:14 am

    Being a daddy’s girl, I understand your feelings. My wonderful daddy passed in November, 2007. I still miss him so much, and think of him every day. He was such a good Christian man, wonderful husband and father. Keeping your family in my prayers as you go thru your first Father’s Day without your dad.

  13. 13 cheryl June 19, 2009 at 10:17 am

    Your post made me cry. Praying for you as you continue to navigate through the loss of you dad. Love to you and your family this weekend.

  14. 14 Wendy Deal June 19, 2009 at 7:10 pm

    You don’t know me but I am a friend of your Mom’s on FB. We met through Linda Harmon.

    Your Dad sounds like an awesome person. I know it will be very difficult for you this Sunday. You were so blessed to have a Dad who was so involved in your life and that you were so close to. May the Lord comfort you and may you feel his presence on Sunday.

  15. 15 Shelly June 21, 2009 at 2:03 am

    I lost my dad 2-1/2 years at his age of 57. Life is too short. I am witness to that!! Love the ones you are with!!

  16. 16 Cindy Lou June 23, 2009 at 2:55 pm

    I lost my Dad on May 28th, and this was my first Father’s Day without him too. He was 66 also. I went to the grave yard to put his favorite flower, red roses, on it. It was really hard, and I wept for a long time on my husband’s shoulder.
    I was riding my SeaDoo Saturday, though, and i could feel his presence as I rode! I had never felt that before when he wa living

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